Why it sucks to date a journalist

This entry doesn’t have much to do with my blog other than the fact that its author is a journalist. This is my perspective on balancing my job with relationships and friendships and I just wanted to share it.

We are almost always on the job 

Life is so busy and it doesn’t help to think about the fact that at least in a year I won’t have school to worry about on top of trying to be a journalist, because honestly that work just gets replaced with more stories to write and people to interview. The crazy part is, we love it. I love it. I crave the business and idea of the amazing people I might get to meet and it’s so exciting.

Sometimes, though, that’s a major roadblock for both long-term friendships and relationships. It’s tough to find a balance because I want to do everything, all the fun stuff with my friends and the inspiring, challenging work for a job that I love.

 A lot of things come up last minute  

Image uploaded to TheBerry.com.

Image uploaded to TheBerry.com.

I’ve learned this from both my own local experiences as a journalist and from professionals that have bestowed their creative, far-reaching wisdom upon various classes of mine throughout the past three years.

You’ve just got to roll with the punches. Stories are dynamic, moving entities and must be treated as such. Interviews get rescheduled; moved up more often than back. Filming sometimes ends early but usually goes late, and honestly sometimes I just get tired and wait until the last minute to get a story done.

We’re always in a rush

I can’t really think of the last day that I didn’t constantly have somewhere important to be, something important to do or someone important to meet, as I’m sure is true with the majority of college students.

Getting things done or getting somewhere on time is important to me, and I do my best to make that happen. A big part of that is surrendering personal contact with my phone when I’m on the job because my mind has to be focused on every possible angle of the story I’m trying to get. I don’t always text people back, I check and forget or I’m just done being on my phone because I use it so often for work. Naturally, some people stop trying or our schedules don’t quite match up for too long.

Because of all these things, I’ve grown apart from some friends and seen a few relationships end. I’ve heard everything related to finding that magic balance: “you make time for what you want to” and every variation of that.  I’ve learned so much, though – things that I couldn’t have learned any other way – through heartbreak, fallouts, personal success, public success, and a lot of other ups and downs.

Some people get really impatient with my schedule and the roller coaster that is my life, but I don’t regret taking the chances I did and starting this journey. I am lucky to feel so passionate about my job and the work of other journalists, because some people just work and work at a nine-to-five and hate every minute of it. It’s a tough schedule to swing but I wouldn’t trade it for something easier, less stressful. Everything we do, we do for the story, and “those who tell stories rule the world.”

I am…

Take a minute to think about all of the wonderful, material things who make up who you are. Though that may sound shallow, so much of my external world contributes to who I am on the inside. Sometimes when I think about it that way, it’s easy to remind myself that I am a colorful, varied and unique individual and that people see a lot of really great parts of my life.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

Here’s an example, this is who I am on the outside:

I am graphic tees, high-tops, sheets of music, tattoos, rock and roll, vinyl records, bottle cap collections, silver-studded trooper boots, boxes full of old pictures and souvenirs from my best and worst moments.

I am open windows on winter nights, woven bracelets, mix CD’s from high school, posters of my historic heroes, pictures from deep space on my wall, preserved roses in a bright blue vase, countless notebooks full of creative scribbles, books that I haven’t read in ages but take up space on a shelf anyway because their stories meant a lot to me.

These things may seem silly or trivial when you lay them out at first, but if you really think about, the little outer details speak volumes about the person you are at the core.

If you ever need a quick self-therapy moment, try it out. See what you find, see who you are.

“It is important to remember that we all have magic inside us.”
-Joanne Kathleen Rowling

When emotional expression becomes annoying, oppressive and stressful 

I think at one point or another we have all played and been played by variations of these roles: the ex who won’t stop sending you texts that they hope will push your buttons, the best friend who constantly wonders if you’re mad at them with weak reasoning, or someone who just tries to soak in everyone else’s positive energy while simultaneously dragging them down, leaving them falsely full and the others feeling weak.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

I’ll keep this short and simple.

It’s not fair to rob others of their sunshine just because all you choose to see are thunder clouds.

Everyone has felt what it’s like to be emotionally vulnerable, and that gets even more complicated when others take advantage of it. Just try to remember that every person in your life is going through, coming out of or healing from a tough time. It’s important to take care of yourself and voice what you need, but don’t do that at someone else’s expense. Look out for others the way you want them to look out for you, and play fair on the emotional field. Give all you can, and don’t take more than you need.

For further insight, check out this post from Paid to Exist: http://paidtoexist.com/three-ways-to-deal-with-emotions/

You are where you are supposed to be, even if it sucks

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

This is for those of you who are going through a tough time and feel like it may never end.

This is for those of you who are working your asses off at the gym and your bodies don’t show it yet.

This is for those of you who feel like you don’t stand a fighting chance against a bitter world.

Sometimes it’s hard to think of whatever you are going through or tying to accomplish as a process, and even harder to be kind to yourself when the process slows or maybe even stops.

But learning to being proud of yourself is potentially the biggest, most underrated accomplishment. We live in a society that is constantly twisting perspectives and you might feel like you are forever two steps behind. If you want to stand out and be unique, compliment yourself and don’t be ashamed to do so. Give yourself a high-five because life is tough. A fun little secret; you are tougher.

Short of dropping clichés, life is truly a series a tests.

Do yourself a favor and don’t give up just because it feels like right now you’ve lost track of what you want and how to get it. Albert Einstein said that matter cannot be created or destroyed, it is only transferred from one form to another. Your goals, hopes and desires are still there, it’s possible they are just taking a new shape or direction.

When you’re feeling like life just sucks, try to remember that pain, suffering and failure are only temporary. Keep going, because I promise you that one day you will find yourself standing on the horizon that you have been longing to reach.

Co-authored by Emma Drury and Haleigh McGill.

Say it with me: “I am sexy, I am smart and I am powerful”

I can’t tell you how important it is to remind yourself that you are all of those things.

My hope is that at one point in their lives, every single person on this earth finds the strength and and the authenticity to look themselves in the mirror and be proud of what they see, inside and out.

You don’t have to be a drop-dead, flawless bombshell to be sexy.

Being sexy isn’t all about being attractive. Things like humble confidence, being nice to people when they might not deserve it, quick wit and curiosity also contribute to how sexy someone is. A sexy demeanor can sometimes be more magnetic than a sexy appearance.

brain2

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

You don’t have to have the highest IQ on the planet to be smart.

Academic success and an impressive ratio of wins to losses on Trivia Crack certainly count as indications of how book-smart a person is, and that’s important, but so is intellectual intelligence. Being smart also means knowing when to talk and when to listen, when to keep fighting and when to let go, when to object and when to play hurt, when to take a risk and when to play it safe.

You don’t have to be the best at everything to be powerful.

Power doesn’t come without passion. You’ve got to find what you are good at, even if it’s just one thing, and work really hard at it and don’t settle for being less than you can be.

In summary, work hard, be kind and be proud of yourself. These traits that you often believe you lack or constantly search for may be closer within your reach than you think. Just focus on the things you like about yourself instead of stressing over what you don’t, and stop trying to be the best and start trying to be your best. 

You are capable of so much. You are sexy, you are smart and you are powerful. 

You are good enough, always

I would like to refocus on the issue of body acceptance and the concept of self-love that is tied to it, since that idea is the root of my blog.

Speaking as a young woman in college, this is such an important and complex time of transition on so many different levels in my life. I am learning how to be a productive and useful member of larger society, how to stand up for what I believe in and what I do not, how to be a real friend and how to be a positive, inspiring force in the lives of others.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

I’m sure many 20-something-year-old women would agree that mastering all of the above as well as other learning curves unique to their lives is incredibly rewarding, but figuring out who you are can also be difficult and exhausting.

However, one of the most important things a woman can do is learn to love and accept herself in her entirety, and I think we often forget to add that to our daily list of things to do. We get so busy with the external lessons and experiences of our lives that we forget to take a step back, remind ourselves that we’re doing the best we can, and appreciate our bodies for everything they do for us.

In college especially, while trying to solidify our identities, sometimes we lose track of what’s really important and try to change ourselves to get a second look from that guy, approval from our friends, colleagues and peers, or in hopes of getting a satisfying answer from the question we so often scream out to the world without making a sound: “AM I GOOD ENOUGH YET?”

Stephanie Bowles, a junior at Colorado State University, offers a perspective on the issue of body image and appearance from inside Fraternity and Sorority Life at CSU. “I think in the Greek community there’s a lot of pressure put on women to look a certain way and it’s kind of the image of looking perfect but not too perfect. … There is that stigma that you have to look good all the time.”

As a member of a sorority at CSU myself, I can say that I definitely see a lot of pretty sorority girls on campus who have certain striking features that I lack. However, aside from the vanity, I see groups of girls who share a similar vision and passion for their Greek organization. I see girls working together to better themselves and better each other, while searching for a way to make the world a little brighter. We all wear different letters but we value many of the same things: Support, sisterhood, striving to be the best version of ourselves and generating a positive impact.

Be strong, be kind, and be brave enough to accept your body. If every woman did this, could you imagine what the world would be like? (Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com. Original: Rosie the Riveter - Norman Rockwell.)

Be strong, be kind, and be brave enough to accept your body. If every woman did this, could you imagine what the world would be like?
(Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com. Original: Rosie the Riveter – Norman Rockwell.)

I firmly believe that women should stand with each other when it comes to learning to love our bodies – not against each other. We should not be each other’s competition or standards for comparison. If you, as a woman, understand the struggle of accepting your body and finding healthy ways to improve it, why would you want to make another woman feel lesser or that she isn’t good enough?

CSU sophomore Sarah Cohen is also an advocate for women supporting each other instead of criticizing. “[When I don’t look my best] I’m not comfortable seeing people I know, which I hate to admit. … I think we need to stop judging each other as women first and foremost.”

I think that choosing to see the good qualities in other people, both inside and out, would not only give us greater peace of mind but would also help to relieve us of unnecessary bitterness and judgmental tendencies. You get what you give, and as I’ve said before, you attract the kind of energy that you give off. Personally, I’d rather be the girl who makes others feel beautiful and confident and allow myself to draw strength from that, instead of harboring jealousy and resentment that only makes it more difficult for me to look at myself in the mirror.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

Image uploaded to WeHeartIt.com.

One way to help deconstruct unfair, stereotypical expectations of a women’s appearance is in the hands of the media. CSU senior Maia Griswald said “Seeing a broader range of people in the media would help, and that’s not just to say plus size because I don’t necessarily think that’s a positive thing. I think there needs to be an in-between. The media either encourages people to gain weight or encourages people to lose weight and I think people should just be able to be who they are and be comfortable with that.”

As women about to embark on the grand adventure of making our respective marks in the real world, we have so many opportunities for growth and life-changing experiences that mean so much more to who we are and who we will become than the insecurities we feel on a daily basis.

I truly believe that every single person has the power and ability to change this world, but before you can do that, you must find the power to change yourself and believe that you are good enough, always.

Be kind to people, even when it’s hard

Sometimes we get so caught up in the stress of our own day that we don’t think twice before losing our patience with someone else, whether it be our closest friend or just someone in passing. I don’t know about you, but when I do this, I feel bad almost immediately after and wish I could redo that moment. Maybe their day is really hard too. Maybe today it was hard for them to look at themselves in the mirror, or go to work or school because they had an off day and feel like a failure, or maybe they just got done fighting with their parents or significant other on the phone.

The point is, just be kind. You never know the impact that you could have on someone if you choose to act with grace and thoughtfulness when you encounter them during the day. The days are long and life is hard sometimes, and all we have at the end of the day is each other. So make the best of every interaction during your days, and try to be the reason someone’s luck seems to turn around even just for the moment that you smiled at them instead of cursing them for walking too slow or talking too loud.

Say something nice, hold a door, tell someone that you’re really glad you saw them today and you hope the rest of their week is wonderful. Watch Kid President’s video about 20 things we should say more often, and carry the kindness with you into this week.